The System Stinks

If you dont think for yourself, no one ever will. If you dont fight for yourself, no one will fight for you. Because there is no collective mindset that says “We”. In today’s society, or at least the one I live in, there only seem to be “I”.

Happened to past by The Projector and decided to just buy a ticket for any available film which I might be interested in. Havent stepped into a theatre for a long while and today was a treat to take my mind off things. While watching “Where To Invade Next” so many things started to make sense and I also became more aware of the current state of society.

Self-reflecting, I realized being nice is no longer needed. Because at the end of the day, the nice ones always end up being eaten up by these worldly monsters. Everyone is only in it for themselves and hardly do you find people who has your back no matter what. Its saddening and disgusting. The things people would do or turn into for money, power and status.

I also realized that as people grew older, their hearts became blacker too. I am not sure if its because of the exposure and experience that they have gained in society that leads to such tactics for “survival” or its just character flaws. Or are they just insecure, afraid of the capabilities of the younger generation, afraid that they will be replaced and chosen over the youthful zest. Where there is desire, there will be a flame, where there is a flame someone’s bound to get burned. I wish I could write it on my forehead so that everyone can see that I am no threat. I have no intentions of rising to your positions and status so fret not, I am happy where I am, if only you all will stop using such scheming tactics and unprofessionalism on me.

Spent the day roaming around aimlessly alone because I needed that. For the past week I fell back to feeling extremely worthless from the disrespect, complacency and lack of trust thrown at me. And these things didnt appear because I fell short of expectations but rather personal preferences, in other words, bianess, and generally a lack of disrespect and the desire to overpower just because I am not dominant. I am slowly coming to terms with the fact there is not much hope for the world, apart from natives and hermit communities. And this is not just based off my experiences but from whatever that is happening in the world at this point. Maybe I should stop carrying the hope or the dream that one day the world will become better and I would have played a part in it. I always believed in the possibility of “one individual can make a difference”. But I guess its not that easy, or even impossible unless my life becomes at stake or I die a martyr or be like Malala Yousafzai or Hellen Keller.

And I hate that society is slowly killing me, the naive me, the me that believes in a better world. And I hate that I will become this unfeeling, stoic, firm person because its the only way to avoid getting eaten up. I have to stop being nice and considerate because it gets me stabbed in the back and pushed around. Along with a dying me are dead dreams. You know, I used to dream and see myself doing great things and strongly believed in them. Things like visiting villages in Africa, working with Nat Geo, volunteering in Lesbos to aid the asylum seekers, building schools and houses, speaking to a crowd to empower them, fighting for women’s rights in Islamic countries, living in a small community void of social classes or politics. I’m not so sure about all of these anymore.

Is that really all there is to life? Why do people get clouded so easily by the material things in life? Do they not understand that we are all in this together? Where and when did the collective mindset of “we” go? Maybe this episode of life is a new moon, something that has to happen for a greater future or its just the world showing me what reality really is. Lately the films that I happen to watch all fall along the same concepts and ideas revolving around society, cultures, and human ideology flaws. I wish everyone would be like 14 year old Laura Dekker when she sailed solo around the world, switched on about life and knows exactly what is most important. After watching “Where to Invade Next”, I think Europe is the only continent who has kinda figured it out, what works and what doesnt in life.

Heartbroken? Depressed? Disappointed? Melancholic? I dont know what I am feeling. Maybe its not such a good idea to be writing such low-spirited thoughts while listening to heavy-hearted and isolating songs on the long awaited weekend when I should be celebrating. I wish someone would tell us how to live life. Oh wait, thats how religion came about, and I guess it doesnt work.

By the way, these films are great. Really hilarious but thought provoking films about society and life.

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